My love story begins in the kindergarten, in a small city of Kremenchuk, Ukraine. Dima kissed me red lips when I was 4 years old. When I asked him: What are you doing? He replied: I am kissing you. Curiosity killed the cat, I asked him again: Why? He replied: Because I like you. Then Dima switched to a different group but that kiss meant a lot for me. So, I begged a girl from my neighborhood (she was with Dima in the same group) to ask my “love”: When is our wedding? The next day I asked my friend: Is he going to marry me? Her response was: “No.” It is naive but I clearly remember how serious I was from the very beginning in regards to relationship. I would marry at 5 y.o. if needed to and did not want TO SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN MARRIAGE.
10 years later I had my first official boyfriend. Dima (my first two loves shared a common name – NOT KNOWING WHO I AM) was a heroine addict. Lies, lies and tons of lies, stealing, and lies again I would never imagine to get from such a cute fellow… I saw the very dark life many read about or watch on TV. Shadows at night, locations to pick up drugs, police, overdose, torture I saw in the bodies and mind of those who were not even 25 y.o. and were about to die soon. It all hovered over my head, in front of my eyes but it did not enter my heart, neither blood. Praise God. My “love” said I am lucky I did not try the heroine and he was in awe how it happened that I could be in that surrounding for months and stayed whole. The dark side awoke a restless desire for a good knowledge. I strived for more than a job, family and life in a small city.
My third “love” occurred to me right after I entered Kiev Linguistic University. Sergey was my captain, with rich inner world, strong principals, struggles for the financial stability. A social status or money do not matter to me in relationship and was ready to go through all challenges with my love. I went to the USA and then to Germany for our bright future. Until one day my “love” invited me to a cafe and said with the tears in his eyes: I love you so much, that is why I let you go. You must go. You might not understand it now but you will later. So, I went but I was not alone. By that time I already knew who I was. I had my own principals, values and beliefs. I believed in God. He guided me through EVERY DAY of my love life. And I can tell, the destination He set for me is the one I could only dream about. Sergey was right. Looking back I realize I had to go. Go away from selfish desires, flirting, forceful relationship, lack of confidence, sexual impurity and other mistakes, which kept me imprisoned, prevented me from being HAPPY.
I dedicate the LOVE chapter to all real stories that happened to me in hope it will be useful for anyone who is striving for more – a true LOVE.