Engagement is pretty much signing a contract. It is different from dating. It is official “I want to marry you” statement. You announce your intention to your relatives and friends, social media spreads it to your business partners and colleagues at work. And the question follows: Why did you choose him? The worse case scenario would be: I like him but not really know him. Looks and feeling will be gone sooner than later and God forbid you end up being married to a stranger.
So, how do we know it is the right person, the person I trust, feel comfortable in moving ahead? By asking QUESTIONS! Deep, meaningful questions. For example: What is the reason I would spend my life with you? Do you have any fears about being married? What have you learned from your previous relationship? What are your believes, values in life? How will you discipline your children? What is your spiritual journey? What does compatibility mean to you? Can you think of anything in your character that might hurt our relationship? Would you give it up? What are your believes about pornography? If something bothered you about me, how would you handle it? What is there about my character that concerns you?
The questions are endless. Spend quality time together and ask questions. Even if they are not romantic or uncomfortable. Communication is the key. It is the reason why we were created for. Store the answers in your bank memory and see if they match with your partner’s actions. Do not solemnly listen to the words only but pay attention to actions. By the deeds it is seen what a person really is. And if you have mixed feeling about getting engaged DO NOT. It should be crystal clear. If for some reason you feel, see, hear you got yourself in the wrong contract it is better to break it off.
Another useful thing is to interact with a person’s friends, his family. Go to the ocean together, participate in some activities outside a restaurant or a bed and see how a person handle the pressure situations. Pray together. Know your partner’s faults and know that you can accept them. See how he treats his pets, employees, children if there are such. Keep interviewing him up till the day of marriage.
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