Do not compromise when it comes to marriage. The longer and better you know your partner before marriage the greater satisfaction in the marriage you will have. Here is the wrong thinking: I would rather to suck it up and be miserable all my life than cancel marriage a day before. We do not want to hurt a person or a family by confronting a wrong actions, which costs us greater pain in the future. I dated a very nice guy in Lima, Peru. My parents loved him, he loved me and everyone was looking towards the marriage. Everyone but me. I knew that despite being a good caring person without bad habits there was missing a personality. He did not say anything bad but sounded wrong, he was tall, slim, nice looking but I could not see my planets in his eyes, he was not mine. He was a stranger to me. How did I explain our break up? Here it goes: It would be unfair to torture you and myself long years after a happy day of marriage.
I am sure you can identify your “settlement for crumbs”. Perhaps he is not what you are looking for spiritually. Perhaps he is not emotionally stable. Perhaps he is not driven or ambitious enough. Perhaps his eyes are set on the opposite sex, which does not reflect the depth of your relationship. Perhaps he does not communicate enough with you to share on emotional level. Perhaps he handles his finance poorly. Perhaps no one cared for him enough that is why he is jumping from one relationship to another. If you are trying to talk yourself into “Everything will change after we get married”, just remember that the problem is not the other person. The problem is you. Why would you fool yourself ending up begging, threatening, pleading, shouting at your partner if you saw a serious problem is out there? You will not be able to reshape, reconstruct the others no matter how hard you try. You can not get gold out of lead. Find courage to look at your own flaws and address them than making miracles with the other person’s heart being trapped, feeling betrayed, critical and weary from frustration?
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