Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head and, that is Christ.
The truth is you will not fully know a person you marry. Marriage changes us, a new job changes us, children change us, age…marriage brings out and reveals traits that were hidden from the rest of the people and even from us. Such flaws as being fearful and suffering from anxieties, proud and therefore being opinionated and selfish, inflexible and therefore demanding to do it your way, undisciplined and therefore unreliable, oblivious and therefore destructed and insensitive, impatient and therefore with a tendency to hold the grudges, independent and therefore irresponsible for the others and not being able to ask for help, perfectionist and therefore judgmental and getting down on yourself. No one else is exposed to your flaws as your spouse. The light is on. You can not hide. Two of you become inevitably intimate. Marriage literary forces you to deal with the sins of each other. It bring out the worst in you. And here is a good news: You are enslaved only by those flaws you can not see.
One can dream of escaping in this situation separating from a “monster” and dreaming about single happy life. And here is a challenge: marriage is about helping each other to grow out of your flaws into a new being God shaping. Let your spouse to “clean and “wash” you into a better image. With the words of truth spoken in love there is hope to get rid of impurities in us. It involves trust, mutual agreement, choice to love nobly and not leave no matter how hard the circumstance is. Your spouse will be forever grateful because you show him or her love saying: I see this problem and I will not withdraw from you or attack you but neither will I keep fruitless silence allowing a sin destroying you. When those words spoken calmly and candidly it is hard not to see God’s presence and reflection of His love. There is hope to change and grow and marriage is a perfect place for it.